Delilah Green Doesn't Care by Ashley Herring Blake: Difficult Heroines

This is going to be as much a character study/gushing session as it is a review, just so you know.

I fucking LOVE Delilah Green. Both the book and its eponymous lead, but much has been written about the story itself already, so I figured I’d shift focus to everyone’s(read: my) favourite fictional homosexual lady.

I think the best way to introduce her is the way the book does, and its intro is kind of a masterwork of introductions. It’s a by-the-books(ha!) how-to-do-it example, really. First off, it has lesbianism. Delilah wakes up blearily in the night next to a beautiful woman whose name escapes her, but Delilah knows she gives really, really good oral. Right off the bat we know that Delilah is a sapphic queen and she gets it when she wants it, idly engaging in a series of hot one-night stands. It’s not implied that she’s lonely or doing it to cope or anything, she just likes fucking hot women. Score one.

Then, her phone rings. On the other end of the line is her sister, Astrid, whose name she has cheekily mis-spelled in her contacts because she thinks Astrid is a total fucker. Delilah’s mother died when she was very young, and her dad died when she was ten, after remarrying – this left her with Astrid and also her step-mother Isabel, who was always frigid and never had any clue what to do with Delilah. Astrid, flourishing from her mother’s doting and attention, went on to become the town of Bright Falls’ treasure and stereotypical pretty popular girl, not at all sticking up for or helping out her step-sister Delilah, who languished as the shy, reclusive, socially mal-adjusted weird kid. All of this comes through in conversation and narration with Astrid, score two.

The reader also learns that Delilah got away from all of this the first chance she got – Isabel gave her and Astrid some money; Astrid went to college, and Delilah fucked off across the country to New York to become a starving artist, a queer photographer. She came into her own at that point; free of the pressures and baggage of her hometown, she basically became a ladykiller(though she also canoodles with enbies from time to time, nice). Some hair styling, eyebrow trims and tattoo sleeves later, Delilah became her own self-made power-dyke late in her 20s. Still struggling financially, because what creative doesn’t, but a far cry from the shy, nest-haired little outcast of her teen years. All confidence and strength from within.

Delilah also could not give a single fuck about her rich step-mother’s overly polite societal concerns, and it’s one of my absolute favourite things about her. Defiant, sassy and angry, unwilling to deal with anyone’s stupid bullshit or expectations. She hates Bright Falls, but takes enjoyment and utter glee in pissing off Astrid and ruining Isabel’s day. Going back to her home town is at the bottom of her to-do list, but she agreed to photograph Astrid’s upcoming wedding to some dickbag, and she needs the ten grand or so that she’ll be paid, so she resolves at the very least that she won’t make the two weeks easy at all for her step family, and she’s going to have some FUN.

Now that is how you do an intro! Sets up the plot flawlessly and tells us loads about our lead lady, whilst also keeping a good pace and being fun to read.

So what does “fun” entail for Delilah at her sister’s wedding? Well, typically it’ll be things like knocking over a massive, expensive wine display in a tearoom with her gay little ass(“Oops!”), or accidentally pushing the groom-to-be into the river, ruining his expensive shirt. Generally, she is a shit-disturber with a downright evil sense of humour and I adore it. Astrid is high-strung and VERY concerned about everything going just-to-plan for her wedding, following schedule and all. Delilah isn’t a bitch, she goes along with it because she isn’t trying to totally ruin everything, but she taunts Astrid for fun by deliberately quoting the wrong starting time for an event, generally winding her up. Usually I’d be sympathetic to Astrid but Delilah is so fucking funny and I really relate to the middle finger she throws toward stiff-upper-lip prim-and-proper society, all queer anger and causing problems. What a hero.

To be frank, Delilah is sort of a role model, an idol you could aspire to be. I’ve been told she fits into a category of “difficult women” as protagonists in romance novels, and if that is a tag, I belong in it. I would die in flames to have read this book when I was like, ten or something. It is WAY closer to what I needed at that time than say, Almost Perfect or fucking Nevada. Delilah is clearly flawed, still wounded about her upbringing and her step-family totally ignoring her, but she draws power from it. She leans into being the odd one out, and she fucks while she does it. I adore her unflinchingly independent spirit, and I love her absolutely to death.

This is all also reflected in the world and other characters; when Delilah drops back into Bright Falls by way of the one bar in this dead-end small town, she catches the eye of Claire Sutherland. Claire, one of Astrid’s posse of mean-girl bitches, the popular and funny ones that shunned Delilah back in the day. Delilah is of course filled with mirth when Claire nervously approaches her to flirt, with no idea who she is. Delilah observes that this stings, but I’d take pride in it personally. Someday, you won’t recognize me! After toying with Claire for a bit, though, the jig is up as Astrid comes in and recognizes Delilah, leading to a shocked and embarrassed Claire.

Delilah Green, the “ghoul of Wisteria house”, so named because she was always peeking around corners with her mess of dark hair to watch Astrid and the girls hang out, among other things. Delilah Green, the girl that Astrid and company tried not to be mean to, but kids are shits I guess. Delilah Green, meek and shy and ostracized; now an incredibly hot dyke, all tattoo sleeves and big curly hair and wiry slim build and powerful thighs, spread wide occupying as much space as she pleases, and a smoky voice just tempting our girl Claire to reach out and grab some. Claire observes that Delilah now is not only the polar opposite of her childhood form, but also of Claire herself.

Claire was(is) a young mother, having a baby girl with some useless, flaky manchild at 19. Not a shocking story, men need to show some fucking responsibility when it comes to birth control. To her credit, Claire seems to be an excellent mother, getting a divorce when it was clear things had gone bad and devoting the whole of her twenties to raising her child right. As a result, though, Claire feels under-experienced with love and generally very stressed. She needs to get off, in the short term, and maybe find love in the long term. So who’s the perfect antidote for that, right?

I have heard complaints that Claire is too plain or boring, but I think between her kid Ruby, her useless manchild ex husband(what was his name? I legit cannot recall) and all of the sauciness surrounding Delilah, she does okay. I must say, though, everyone else in this novel does kind of play second fiddle by nature to my fucking dyke queen Delilah Green.

There is Astrid, however. She and her evil mean-girl posse are introduced and set up basically as shitty bitch characters, bound to get what’s coming to them, and honestly really makes the reader hate Astrid in particular. From Delilah’s point of view(though the book is third person omniscient narration), Astrid basically abandoned her to go be a popular girl once her father died, and has been nothing but demanding and bitchy since. If the book was just 300 pages of Delilah dunking on Astrid’s gang, ruining everything and kissing hot ladies, it’d still be great, but the story takes an EXCELLENT turn here.

You see, what I really enjoy about Claire's perspective is how it flips a lot of Delilah's assumptions on their head, without totally invalidating her feelings and experiences. Claire, despite having been rude to Delilah a lot in their youth, was actually paying attention to Delilah - she knows about her family history, how her mother died, and what with being a single parent now herself, has a sympathetic eye for the whole situation. Yes, Astrid can be bitchy and cold, but she genuinely thinks Delilah doesn't give a shit about her or Isabel.
It's not that what Delilah thinks is wrong or stupid, simply that trauma and a lack of communication has splintered everyone.

A lot of time is devoted in this book to how the girls viewed various parts of their upbringing, the feelings and motivation behind certain events, what it meant to them at the time. As a result, Delilah Green takes on a b-plot of family re-connection that is actually awesome. Heartwarming, even, to see the step-sisters slowly coming together after a decade-plus of being split and brooding, and it’s one of the best things about the book.

There are other merits to Delilah Green, like the potential redemption of useless manchild ex-husband Josh, or Claire’s little bookshop she inherited from her mother, or the lovely little ways in which Delilah interacts with Claire’s kidlet Ruby, fostering her rebellious spirit. I think I’ll leave it there, though; an analysis and praise of Delilah’s character, her book and the characters surrounding her. Needless to say I am AMPED for the sequel, Astrid Parker Doesn’t Fail, in November.

“Oh shit Delilah, your sister was fucking GAY all along??”