Turbodyke Fiction & Romance

I think, instead of waiting for something to kick my ass back into writing shape, I’ll just get entirely too personal about things. It’s my dumb blog nobody reads, I can do what I want. Generally it’s been a rough couple of weeks for my reading; my backlog is almost bottomless(though full of bottoms) to the point that I could unironically read for weeks at a time and not even get halfway through. The trouble is everything sucks, or at least it looks that way through my strained and goofy eyes. Some of the casualties are obvious ones, like repeated badly contrived plot events in Hearts in Motion, my not being onboard with the premise of The Arrangement because it feels like a worse version of At First Glance, The Long Way Home because it opens with the lead bitching about the woman she’s dating, All The Little Moments because I feel like the romance plot was butting up awkwardly against the dead-brother-now-his-kids-are-yours plot, and because I hate normie social interaction with a p

Okay, this review is easily going to be the most out-there thing that I’ve done on this blog,and honestly it might keep that title for a good while. Agender demon sex was pretty different, but I don’t think anyone is ready for minotaur tiddies. Certainly not these ones. As near as I can gather by reading Goodreads reviews and such, Morning Glory Milking Farm seemingly gained way more attention than most bovine lovin’ romance. The genre existed prior, because “man with cow head” is just unbearably fuckin’ sexy, don’t you think?(?) The boost in attention is probably in equal measure due to “wtf” reads and genuine interest, but it’s unclear if anyone was yet prepared for the things seen in The Price on Her Head, the second Monstrous Desires novella by Suzanne Clay. I sure as fuck wasn’t. Was this inspired at all by the surprise hit of Morning Glory? A need for popular romance to be more fuckin’ gay? Possibly. Minotaurs are also a pretty common mainstay, so to a degree it’s not surprisin

Time for a serious-face discussion. Not an awesome way to open Pride Month... Promise I’ll do something fun next week. Recently, I finished Satisfaction Guaranteed by Karelia Stetz-Waters, whose title got the Alyssa Reid song stuck in my head. I thought it was good in general; I'd heard that the leads didn't have much chemistry but I tend to disagree. The book feels like a pretty good opposites-attract story. I like that Cade is very professional, formal and stoic, and while she doesn't want or need a drastic change of lifestyle, she could use a little more personal freedom from being an accountant for her parents' art gallery. Selena is personal freedom given flesh, all burlesque outfits and paint-your-vulva(on paper, not the actual vulva(that would have been neat too though)) and doing emotionally invested portraits, generally going with the flow which extends to her relationships. She's happy this way, but having been pushed out of her artwork by the disdainful

  Har har, what an arsey title. Also, content warning sexual harassment, etc in Hollywood. I picked up Something to Talk About by Meryl Wilsner absolutely ages ago because A) I'm gay, of course, and B) I'm weak for an age gap, at least in which both participants are legal age consenting adults. It’s a lesbian stereotype, and one that I fall into enthusiastically alongside the cohabiting-weakness that is the u-haul. So, I am a simple woman; I see a gay age gap, I go for it. Consider this your call-outs, Melissa Tereze and Harper Bliss! Heroes, both! Let’s start with the characters. I usually like to do that, because I find romance is character-centric, unsurprisingly, and I like character development. It’s not that I don’t enjoy a well-told plot, but I read romance for the people first and foremost. You could almost consider this as much a character analysis blog as anything. At first blush, I liked our leads, Jo "Jones" Cheung and Emma Kaplan. Respectiv

Finally, demon sex. Truly, Mock 2: The Speed of Stupid has prepared me for this moment. I wonder if whoever named that first level had this in mind? Monster Fucker as a series is not at all chronological at this point. I found At The Crossroads here by simply looking up “lesbian monster romance” on various search engines. Suzanne Clay caught my eye(via their second monster romance novella) because, well, they write queer monster lovin’. Surprisingly enough though, this one can’t be called a sapphic romance per se, as there’s an agender character involved! Not our lead lady, though. Annabel is pretty tame as far as the genre goes, just your regular average twenty-something, presumably-white woman new to the whole paganism thing after decrying the church as cringe, which is right-on because fuck the church. She also has a crush on her straight roommate Kat, and I sighed when I read that. Is this gonna be a shifter toaster oven kinda joint? Kat’s coming off of a bad relat

I had some other plans for the blog, and I still do, but right now I absolutely must discuss this. You don’t understand; Swamp Pussy! And now that I really have your attention, we can discuss about it! I’ve been on a fun little monster romance kick lately, which is nice because it makes me happy. I like that. She Came From The Swamp is, of course, an example of the somewhat rare lesbian variant of the extremely venerable monster romance genre. I’m not entirely sure if het(and generally wlm) women are somehow more susceptible to the charms of the inhuman, but there are too few examples of Sapphic monstrosities finding lifelong love. So, here is one. The monster du jour is a kikimora, which comes from Russian folklore(according to Wikipedia, but the text says that she’s Ukranian) and is mostly seen depicted as somewhere between a witch and a scarecrow, with a plague mask on. In author Darva Green’s magical-realism world, though, a kikimora is a seven-foot-tall sw